‘The dark side of glamour’

I dont suppose any of us are naive enough to not already be aware of cases like these. It’s still interesting to have a read of this though. Nazia Hasan, Sultan Rahi and Afreen Baig are highlighted here, but there’re not the only ones, the writer’s right, it’s a global tragedy, not only a Pakistani one. I mean look into other high profile cases like Elvis, Marylin Monroe, Malcolm X, Princess Diana even most recently Heath Ledger, they’re most definitely mysterious.

Here’s a snippet from Instep Today;

There you have it!

Doesn’t need to get any louder and clearer than this.

I’m not surprised, are you?

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Ramzaan Mubarak!

Have a good one, and do lots of Du’as for those less fortunate than you. Here’s some special messages I’d like to share with my co-bloggers:

No one; there are always gunna be those less fortunate than you, stop whining!

IC; Donate your blu-ray to a homeless shelter, ’tis the season for giving!

Nen; Ni**ger! Stop talking to yourself, talk to the Divine, He may even help you get out of those silly little predicaments you get caught up in, I seriously worry about you sometimes!

Eddie; I’m always at peace to know shareef insaan (cough-cough) like yourself still exist in Lahore, keep it up! I finally got that email btw, you sent it to a really dormant email address, and I rescued it! Thanks so much!

Mutazalazalazazzaman Tarar; Your choice in women rocks, but honestly Zinnah is haram and for this mubarak mahina at least, shield your eyes! (wink!)

Ammar; You rock, you should be the next president of Pakistan!

Asma; I like your optimism, keep it alive! They say sarcasm is dead in Islamabadis, you keep on proving them wrong sunshine!

Illusion; Dude… you’ve confused me now!

Zair; Ello superstar! You’ve struck gold, may you have many more golden opportunities like the ones you’ve just had! InshAllah.

Rockstar; Dont be a stranger!

And finally, my Bitch Kurri Pataki; Love you lots! Tell sexy to frog off! It’s all about me and you baby.. I mean my baby… sister!

Have a safe month, look after yourselves, be nice to each other, pray lots, give lots and easy on the samosay!

JazakAllah!

Kashmir: Back with a Vengeance

You know that itty bitty feeling I had that India is a big-time ally to Bush’s Zionist USA, and in turn I full-well believe Musharraf also had a little ‘friendly relationship’ with the two countries. I dont know whether he had complied to their rules willingly or unwillingly but the fact remains the Indian govt didn’t want to let go of him.

He had pulled up a peace deal in Kashmir (at whatever price) but the eve of his resignation all hell broke loose in Kashmir. Coincidence? I think not. By the look of things, I think the Indian govt is rearing up for another Pak-India war.

Hurriyat Chairman - Mir Waiz Umer Farook (for Kashmir’s independence - from Srinagar) has visited Pakistan and has had a few chats with Zardari these past few weeks, let’s see whether a truce can be re-instated again with India. I doubt the Pak govt. can do much, I mean look westwards, Pakistan army’s war with the alleged rebels/insurgents belonging to the Taliban movement (read: an excuse to kill innocents) has caused all sorts of carnage throughout the country, they wont stop either as the army leaders are going direct to Washington rather than have any direct contact with the ruling coalition govt. How shit is that?

Thanks Mush-kebab for leaving the country in such a state!

 

Presidential Line-up ‘08 - just for fun!

Alright wiseguys! In an ideal world, who would YOU select as President of Pakistan?

Here’s a few suggestions to help you along;

Ali Noor

Occupation: Mega Rockstar (on a hiatus these days) and quiz show host.

Affiliation: A bad reputation, seen as a bit of a villian in the music world - thus batting for Zardari’s team.

Why: He studied Law, Law = Politics! He’s a married spud too. Marriage is healthy for politics. We want a first lady!

The youth (under-30) make up 70% (?) of the country’s population, and he’s all about catering to the under-30s. The fact that he annoyeth almost everyone maketh him prime presidential meat!

How he’ll address the nation: He’s scarey, his piercing green eyes and snarl of an expression, to outsiders (ghair mumaalik) he’ll use his death-inducing tone as per Khalla ”tum ne apni insaaniyat ko maar diya, phir tum ne uss ki meyyat ko jalaa diya” (shudder), but to his country folk he’ll use his laa-di-daa camp, ‘lithp’ and address the people with ”mazaa aya, kya??”.

Ali Azmat

Occupation; Mega Rockstar, chat-show host, general social aadmi, can be seen everywhere.

Affiliation: Musharraf, official chamcha of the former dictator.

Why: Kurri fancies him as next president, I personally dont see why? BUT he’s an icon and people generally like him for his ability to gas (talk a lot). He’s unmarried and goes through girlfriends like a pair of pants (allegedly). Perfect!

How he’ll address the nation: Drunk!

Meera

Occupation: Fillum istaar froms Lollywoods buts covets roles froms Bollywoods, brand ambassador to Lax!

Affiliation: Musharraf, official chamchee to the former dictator.

Why: Read this! She wants the entire kaum beaten with dandey! Oye hoye!

How she’ll address the nation: Flick her hair, pump up the pout, and generally hiss a lot! I’m sure it’ll work a treat for Pakistan’s International PR. Sigh, what will the nation do without President Meera Begum?

Shaan

Occupation: Movie star, Director, son of a movie-star couple, model, involved in all sorts of advertising campaigns. Full time Proud Paki.

Affiliation: Nawaz Sharif, something to do with the former premier’s ‘Sher-e-Punjab’ title.

Why: Full time Proud Paki. Nicknamed ”Shaan-e-Pakistan” for his ‘man of the masses’ type appeal. Rippling muscles. Sexy with faux ‘tache. Yes please!

How he’ll address the nation: I’m sorry what? Wasn’t listening, I was mezmerised by those ginormous eyebrows.

Oh! Ermm.. just think of those Lux Style Awards host speeches where he attempts English. Love him or hate him, he’s got it goin’ ON.

Junaid Jamshed

Occupation: Ex-popstar turned Religious man.

Affiliation: JJ’s era - the 90s was all about Democacy, think Nawaz Sharif or Zardari.

Why: Why? Hellooo gorgeous!!

JJ is one smoooth operator.

How he’ll address the nation: With his lovely blue-eyed, bushy bearded personality, that contagious smile and gentle speech, going off his former extreme popularity he’ll be interesting to listen to. Plus, the genuinely nice religious man needs some representation here too.

CJ - Iftikhar Muhammad Chaudhry

Occupation: Sacked Chief Justice, object of the common man’s affections.

Affiliation: Nawaz Sharif, aur kaun?

Why: He’s independant minded, patient, has been putting up with a lot of quack since Nov 2007.

How he’ll address the nation: In his usual enigmatic, empowering, ruckus-creating, cross-eyed manner. He’s so endearing, I totally stamp my feet and bang my fists on tough surfaces to applaud his speeches too.

Imran Khan

Occupation: Cricketer turned Philanthropist turned Politician (just pretend for a sec you didn’t already know that).

Affiliation: Sharifon ke liye Sharif behter hai.

Why: He’s hot, apart from that? He once brought the Cricket world cup home, Hurrah! He’s honest (sometimes a bit too brutally honest it seems). Dedicating his life towards the cause of being taken seriously as a politician. Bless you for trying.

How he’ll address the nation: Ermm.. like he does already all over TV, and that ”dekhein, dekhein” style. If it worked in convincing the likes of Jerry Hall, pray, who’re we to complain?

My most accurate horoscope ever!

I have a love-hate thing with horoscopes, I dont believe them and think they’re evil and very un-Muslim (you know what they say, that these people are probably possessed by Jinns - hahaha!). Yet I still read them, sometimes even obsessively, before disappointedly smacking away the paper or clicking furiously at the mouse to change webpage. I dont particularly want anything from them;

Fortune? Not appealing, I’m happily living a comfortable existance, enough halaal kamaii to sustain me is all I need. In fact I’m a snob, I hate rich people, there shouldn’t be such a thing, if they distributed a fair amount of their wealth to the poor, they wouldn’t even exist.

Romance? Been there, done that and I dont think there will ever be anyone else as beautiful as him, sigh.. except maybe his brother! Oh yeaaah!! I have far too many celebrity crushes, see they might just say Hamza J*fri is going to come knocking on my door next Friday asking me to marry him.

Business prospects? Eww.. boring!

so yeah.. whatever! BUT on the other hand there’s a horoscope section on Elle.com I used to read a few years back, like religiously, it’s probs the most accurate one. I even printed lots of extremely accurate ones and kept them for some weird reason. I haven’t visited it for way over a year, I went on today and was gobsmacked at it’s accuracy, it’s bang on.

Here’s mine. Yes, I’m Virgo!

Check your horoscopes out too and let me know what you think. Check the weekly section and the relationship compatibility part too. It’s pretty convincing.

PS. Sorry I got bored of GTS Fridays guys, if you want I might re-introduce it or something similar soon.

I’m LOLing

Just spotted this at Islamabad Metblogs.

Zardari for President?

I’m neutral about this, because I’m still a tad giddy with elation after Musharraf’s departure.

The country will know its fate on the 6th September, frankly, if he wins, there’s bugger all we can do about it.

Obama Bin Laden is the real threat to Pakistan, the country will fare well otherwise, it’s America’s intervening where the real issues lie.

I dont see him as that big a threat, and feel that people are bickerign for the sheer hell of it. For fun however, let’s take a look at some crucial reasons why we do or dont want to see him in power.

NO!

He is notorious for the worst ever allegations against him; that he is corrupt, that his ‘criminal record’ made him a liability for the PPP (his wife’s party at the time) and ultimately, that he even had his wife assassinated, even her brother Murtaza Mir Bhutto assassinated.

He has 25 MQM Candidates backing his push for presidency. BAAAD news!

There’s a chance he wont restore the deposed judges.

He keeps pissing off fellow politicians - Nawaz Sharif and Maulana Fazal-ur-Rehman. Boooo!

He’s a convicted criminal, spent 8 years in jail.

He was Benazir Bhutto’s Husband! And is Bilal Bhutto Zardari’s Daddi-o! Smells fishy! 

He was known as a ”Playboy” uh-oh!

He smiles - A lot.

Dude, he fugly!!

YES!

He was the ”designated fall guy” for Benazir aka. he took the fall for his wife’s actions, he entered the marriage knowing ”it would always be about her, not him”.  

He spent 8 years in Jail - The Pakistani Nelson Mandela. What’s that saying about Politicians that get caught and those that dont?

He’s told America where to shove it! America is thus criticising him.

He has been willing to work as part of a coalition force from February 2008, meaning he isn’t a self glorifying hero, he simply ’shares’ good publicity.

There’s a chance he’ll restore the deposed judges.

He was Benazir Bhutto’s Husband! And is Bilal Bhutto Zardari’s Daddi-o! Sexy!

He once risked his own life to rescue the daughter of a German diplomat and her horse. Bravo!

He smiles - A lot. Makes a change from the archetypal constipated siyasatdaan’s face.

Dude! He’s smokin’ hot!

Image: L-R: Nawaz Sharif, Asif Ali Zardari

No Rest for the Wicked

We wont be having a GTS Friday contest today guys.

I’m sure all of us are rattled after hearing of yesterday’s attack at a factory in Wah, near Islamabad. Read here.   

Every one life is treasured and just as precious as the other. When we lose one person, it’s a massive tragedy, we barely get over it.  Yesterday we lost 70 (and counting) innocent lives in addition to yet more in alarming figures.

We cannot continue to accept this as the norm.

Yet the wicked just continue in their ways. Whodunnit? The Tehrik-e-Taliban are claiming it to be their work. It has nothing to do with religious beliefs, but simply an exchange of lives, an eye for an eye. Tehrik-e-Taliban against the Pakistani Army (under the command of USA ultimately). Pakistan’s army does air raids, and other similar terror-spreading attacks on innocent families for example somewhere in Bajaur (NWFP) and then in turn some angered young man seeks justice by attacking army-linked facilities killing more innocent civilians in the process. 

How long can this vicious cycle continue? We want ceasefire, a reasonable peace deal. Let that be given a prominent ranking on the new govt’s agenda.

I was overjoyed knowing that maybe the army will have to turn back on its command, now that Musharraf has finally thrown in the towel and in the knowledge that the new publicly elected govt. does not want to get tied into America’s ‘proxy war’.    But there is nothing more that fills you with a sense of doom than a grinning Condoleeza Rice on TV stating how she ‘plans to work closely with such-and-such Govt.’ It always spells further trouble. Let’s hope Zardari and co. stand by their word when liaising with the US (AND frickin re-instate the judges already!!).

Obviously no-one’s expecting miracles so early, but I am rather apprehensive since yesterday.. I hate that goofy bitch ”Bush di secretary, fasaad te chughli laan waali factory” (Punjaagi).

On other political notes, I remember being awe-stricken by smidgen-sized-formerly-unheard-of Georgia’s viciousness against mega-superpower Russia, the latter is one scarey mutha, not one to attack so carelessly, but then I find out Georgia’s leader is being backed by Zionist movements. Naturally!!

See how they instigate wars? Clev-ver!!

I wonder if they had a say in China’s to-do with Tibet? (Wink)

US & Zionist Isreal-ally India, these days, despite being favourably tipped as a near-future superpower is coming apart at the seams, the poor are getting desperate and the long opressed Muslims of Kashmir are demanding they become part of Pakistan. There are many Muhajirs in AJK streaming from Jammu Kashmir and Pooch areas, it’s only when you hear their tragic tales that you really thank Qaid-e-Azam a million times over for creating Pakistan. Sigh, but then Pakistan is no longer the sought after refuge it once was, for dangerous waters have seeped in and who knows if they’ll ever be washed out.

On another note; Afghans are really beginning to piss me off, they’re so impossibly up-their-own-asses.

Goodnight and Godspeak

Last night on facebook was atrocious, everyone’s joining groups like ‘Mush is our Jinnah’, Mush - Pakistan’s saviour’ and all types of hullabaloo. And then they’re calling the anti-Mushes lemmings. Who exactly are the lemmings here??

He was another ”Jinnah” alright, he was almost about to split Pakistan in half, Balochistan and NWFP split away from Pakistan (wait doesn’t that sound similar to Indian channel - Rayat TV’s agenda?) hmm.. pieces to a puzzle.

What saviour? That he helped in funding a movie, or lifted bans on certain musicians? Yes, I’ll admit that was a good move, but what about the negatives? They outdo the pluses.. I’d rather not see a couple of glitterati red carpet do’s in exchange for peace, happiness and liveliness restored in Pakistan!

Is Zardari ‘the crook’ the man to do it? Let’s see.. we dont have a crystal ball at-the-ready, but let’s see. No-one has yet give the man a chance. He’s even being suspected of having had his wife assasinated - yeah.. whatever!! I call it desperately clutching at straws! He’s done his time! He’s paid for his sins. Let’s get over it! I’m not a fan either, but he’s working cohesively as a team member. That’s better than all this one-man-upmanship and sly little backhander deals with USA than we’ve been seeing for a long time!
Zardari-Sharif might even follow suit, but with a force as big as theirs (and counting),  I doubt they’ll feel the need to dwindle into foreign territory.

Mush has made a clever move by resigning and planning to jump ship, he may miss his impeachment, which is a shame as he has 20 different charges and America’s sneaky little alliance was a little more conveniently sneaky these last few days. When they thought he would be impeached, they backed away stating it’s ‘his own country’s internal affairs’ PAH! Now that they know he’s possibly going to get away with it, they’re suddenly cosying up to him again. That should serve as a lesson learned.
It’s not a personal thing, he was obviously a purchased service, he’s just past his sell by date.

PLEASE NOTE: Dont be seeing this with any shades of familiarity as Saddam Hussein’s end-of-reign and toppling of statue, there’s a world of a difference. Saddam opposed the US (for reasons good or bad, who knows) and the same people responsible for the felling of his statue regret it today, in Pakistan’s case it’s the exact opposite.

A massive sigh of relief:

Pakistan’s newly elected civilian coalition government has faced criticism from the United States that it was not doing enough to fight militants operating along the Afghan-Pakistan border. The civilian government is reluctant to fight what it sees as a proxy war for the US. Read more.

Photo: Birds of a feather stick together; Karzai & Musharraf embrace.